Before my interview with Dr. Pat Baccili, I had one question I couldn’t quite put to rest: Had she read the book?
I knew we were going to talk about What’s Up with Rabbit Holes? What I didn’t know was whether she had read it—or, if she had, whether she liked it. After years of writing, reconsidering, revising, and finally finishing the book, I was about to discuss it live with someone whose reaction I couldn’t predict.
Naturally, I tried to prepare for every possible moment. I prepared answers to the questions I’d sent her. I practiced with a makeshift teleprompter I added at the last minute. I thought I’d figured out where to place the screens so I could see my words while still looking toward the camera. I even sat on a book to get the angle right. After all, an author should be able to rely on a book for support.
Then, as the interview began, I looked at myself on the screen and had a brief freak-out. The makeshift teleprompter made me look like I was reading from the floor! Then I realized my bangs were pushed back, exposing my receding hairline, and the lighting was awful. My forehead shone like a glaring testament to every year spent writing and finishing this book. I had prepared to talk about investigating our beliefs; I had somehow overlooked the urgent need to investigate my camera angle, lighting, and presentation.
Would that I could be as cute and composed as ChatGPT depicts me here. Five minutes before going live, the teleprompter had me frazzled, the ring light had turned my forehead into a beacon, and I really was sitting on a book to try getting the camera angle right. At least the Curator looks ready for the interview, peering over the pile of books with his spectacles on. (ChatGPT even remembers I have a bronze rabbit pictured in the bottom right corner of this delightful graphic.)
I can laugh now and enjoy this caricature ChatGPT created, but beneath the comedy, I understand I was nervous because the book matters so much to me. It asks readers to examine the beliefs we carry, the certainty we claim, and what we may be missing. Speaking about it in public meant letting go of the reassuring illusion that I could control how it would be received.
And then the interview began.
Dr. Pat clearly read the book, and she loves it! Wow! What an honor to hear Dr. Pat Baccili, such an astute observer of our culture, speak so warmly about What’s Up with Rabbit Holes? Within minutes, we found ourselves in a real conversation about the book. As she clearly identified and engaged with its ideas, I experienced myself moving beyond the prepared words to the reason I had written them. There are still moments I would edit, but my concerns and preferences are secondary to getting this message out.
When it was over, I wept. (Don’t tell anyone, please, LOL) It felt like crossing a finish line I had been running toward for years.
I’m sharing this because the finished version (edited or not) of an interview leaves out so much of what it takes to show up and get it done. Sometimes we bring our work into the world with a steady voice. Sometimes we bring a teleprompter, a stack of worries, a book to sit on, and a forehead that has apparently decided to become its own source of light.
I brought all of that, but most of all I got to discuss a book I have wanted to write for ten years: a book about the rabbit holes we all visit, how we come to believe what we believe, and what we might discover if we’re willing to look again.
The interview itself has become another invitation for me and all of us to look again and reconsider our beliefs and perspectives. To ‘look again’ at what we think courage is supposed to look like and at what happens when we do something that matters to us while we’re still afraid.
If you’d like to hear how the conversation unfolded, listen to my interview with Dr. Pat Baccili. And if you’re curious about the book that brought us together, find What’s Up with Rabbit Holes? on Amazon.
